Do we meet with the minister?

Yes. An important part of marriage preparation is consultations between the minister and the couple. The minister will use this consultation to assist you in planning your wedding and marriage. The number of meetings depends on the minister and the situation. If you are interested in an officiant that is not a minister at First, one of our pastoral staff will still need to be on hand at the service. Unless your wedding is under the auspices of the Society of Friends, we require that your officiant be ordained by a church that regularly meets for worship in a physical space.

How is the music handled?

Organ music for the wedding services is performed by our organist Avery Tunningley. Any particular music or accompaniment for outside vocalists needs to be to the organist at least six weeks before the ceremony. There is a list of songs for you to choose from here. Once you've selected your choice please notify the organist.

How do I get a marriage license?

The required New York State marriage license is obtained at the City Hall in Schenectady at least two weeks before the ceremony. Contact them for the best times to come by and the requirements they have. Bring the license to the rehearsal.

 What about all the details?

• Runners – your florist may help you with a runner, but with our long aisle, it may be more trouble than it is worth. They aren’t used as much as they were in muddier times.

• Photos – Discrete professional photographers will understand that flash photography is intrusive and that taking pictures in front of the first pew is distracting for a worship service. We also discourage relatives from taking snapshots so that they can pay attention to the event itself rather than the camera.

• Video – If you are having a videographer, have them check in with the minister before the ceremony.

• Unity Candle – If you wish to use this as a part of your ceremony, bring one in.

• The Ritual of Throwing – If folks really want to throw things at you when leaving the church, we suggest birdseed and do not like rice or confetti.

• Alcohol - If you are not having a formal reception here, alcohol is not allowed in the church. We have too many stories of this causing problems. 

Who is involved?

In addition to the minister conducting the wedding and the organist, you will be dealing with the office administrator, Heather Scribner, who coordinates weddings. 

How much will this cost?

We’re not in it for the money, but weddings take a great deal of time and require us to limit the use of the facility for other events. If you are not a church member, the total cost including building use, organist and minister’s honorarium, custodial fees, and utility costs is $1,000. If you are a church member, the use of the building and the services of the ministers is a part of being a member here. The total fee for members is $300. Receptions are not included in this price, but people don’t have receptions here much anyway. Fees are fully refundable but are due when you make the final confirmation of the date.

If this seems like too much money for you and you are willing to have a small ceremony in the wedding chapel after Sunday morning worship, there is no charge.

Valuable Contacts

Heather Scribner, Church Office 518-377-2201 ext 301 or 1streformed@gmail.com

Rev. Daniel Carlson 518-346-6416 or pastordanielcarlson@gmail.com

City Hall 518-382-5199 ext. 5303

Suggested Order of Worship (15-20 minutes)

1. Prelude

2. Processional

3. Call to Worship

4. Presentation of the Bride

5. Reading (if used)

6. Scripture

7. Message

8. Exchange of Vows

9. Exchange of Rings

10. Unity Candle (if used)

11. Solo (if used)

12. Prayer

13. Declaration of Marriage

14. Benediction

15. Recessional

Suggested Readings

Old Testament

• Genesis 1:26-28, 31

• Genesis 2:18-24

• Ruth 1:16-17

• Psalm 33:1-5

• Psalm 37:3-7

• Psalm 67

• Psalm 100

• Psalm 103

• Psalm 121

• Psalm 127

• Psalm 128

• Psalm 150

• Song of Solomon 2:8-13

• Song of Solomon 8:6-7

The New Testament

• Matthew 5:1-12

• Matthew 7: 24-27

• Matthew 19:4-6

• John 15:9-17

• Romans 8:31-39

• Romans 12:1-2, 9-18

• 1 Corinthians 13

• Ephesians 3:14-21

• Ephesians 5:2, 21-33

• Colossians 3:12-17

• 1 Peter 3:1-9

• John 3:18-24

Possible Vows

1. I ____________ take you ___________ to be my wedded [WIFE - HUSBAND]. And I do promise before God and these witnesses to be your loving and faithful [HUSBAND - WIFE] in plenty and in want, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, as long as we both shall live.

2. ____________, I take you as my wife/husband, I pledge to share my life openly with you, to speak the truth to you in love; I promise to honor and tenderly care for you, to cherish and encourage your own fulfillment as an individual through all the changes of our lives."

3. I, ______ take you, ______ to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward; to be your friend and lover, companion and helper, so help me God.

4. ______, I take you as my husband/wife, to have and to hold from this day forth, to love and to cherish so long as we both shall live. To this I pledge you my solemn vow before God.

5. I, ______, take you, ______, to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, in joy and in sorrow, to love and to cherish, and to be faithful to you alone as long as we both shall live.

6. ______, in the presence of God, and before our witnesses and friends, I, ______, with joy and in love, take you to be my spouse, to be the parent of my children, and the companion of my days. I promise to fully share my life with you, through days of happiness or sadness, abundance or want. I pledge to you my unfailing love always.

7. I take you, ______, to be my spouse from this day forward, to join with you and share all that is to come, and I promise to be faithful to you until death parts us.